Be a good friend

Being a good friend is not just a moral aspiration — it is a skill that directly predicts your own wellbeing. Reis and Shaver's intimacy process model (1988) demonstrates that deep friendship depends on responsiveness: the ability to understand, validate, and care for another person's inner world. Research by Baumeister and Leary (1995) shows that the quality of our social bonds matters more than quantity; a few friendships characterized by mutual support, honesty, and reliability produce greater happiness than dozens of shallow connections. Cohen's research on social support and health reveals that people who both give and receive high-quality friendship support have stronger immune function, lower rates of depression, and greater longevity. Being a good friend requires intentional effort — it means showing up during difficult times, celebrating others' successes without envy, and investing time even when life gets busy.

• 1
  A close friend experienced a significant life event and you did not reach out within a week
• 2
  You consistently talk about yourself during conversations without asking about your friend's life
• 3
  Friends have stopped coming to you with their problems or good news
• 4
  You cancel plans with friends frequently to prioritize less important obligations

Consider these questions to understand where you stand: