Maintain long-term friendships

Long-term friendships are among the most protective factors for psychological health across the lifespan. The Harvard Study of Adult Development, spanning over 80 years, found that the quality of relationships at age 50 was a better predictor of physical health at age 80 than cholesterol levels. Baumeister and Leary's research on belongingness shows that stable, enduring bonds fulfill our deepest social needs in ways that newer relationships cannot — they provide a shared history, mutual understanding, and the security of knowing someone has witnessed your life unfold. Yet long-term friendships require active maintenance. Dunbar's research shows that without regular contact — at minimum once every few weeks — even close friendships decay within a few years. The effort to maintain these bonds is one of the highest-return investments you can make in your own wellbeing.

• 1
  You have lost touch with a once-close friend and have not made an effort to reconnect
• 2
  Conversations with old friends feel awkward or surface-level because too much time has passed
• 3
  You realize you do not know what is currently happening in a long-term friend's life
• 4
  You assume old friendships will survive on their own without any active investment of your time

Consider these questions to understand where you stand: