Have excitement

Excitement and stimulation are not frivolous desires — they are psychological needs that, when unmet, lead to boredom, restlessness, and even depression. Aron's self-expansion model proposes that humans have a fundamental motivation to grow and expand the self, and that exciting, novel activities are a primary vehicle for this expansion. Research on couples shows that shared exciting activities strengthen relationships more than shared pleasant but calm activities, because excitement generates the arousal that becomes associated with one's partner. Zuckerman's sensation seeking research demonstrates that the need for excitement has a biological basis — individual differences in optimal arousal levels mean some people require more stimulation than others to feel engaged. The key insight is that excitement does not require recklessness; it requires intentional engagement with activities that challenge, stimulate, and energize.

• 1
  You feel chronically bored or understimulated despite having a comfortable life
• 2
  You rely on passive entertainment — social media, television — for stimulation rather than active engagement
• 3
  Your relationships have become routine and predictable, lacking the spark of shared adventure
• 4
  You feel envious of others who seem to lead more exciting lives

Consider these questions to understand where you stand: